


And Without You...

by Prototype



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 08:30:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prototype/pseuds/Prototype
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is how I disappear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	And Without You...

#  ** And Without You… **

 

 

This is how I disappear.

You walk in with a smile

No, wait, that’s no smile. Haven’t seen you smile in a while.

Your eyes remind me of hospital green doors – one way in and no way out. I don’t feel as worried as I used to.

Before you got here.

It’s ok, don’t speak, it’ll shatter this.

I don’t want to hear what you have to say to me, I know it doesn’t mean what it used to.

Drowning in blue, cliché tears painted on cliché cheeks. How did you get so pale?

Lips licked, eyelashes fluttered – who are you preening for, superstar? No cameras here, no microphone today.

You can stop one day, you know you can but you don’t Not yet. It’s not over for you, even though we’re inside, shut away, lost in our own jet black hotel room.

You go to the mirror.

No one’s on the other side.

An addiction that’s leaving a scar – are those lines?

I’ve got scars you’ve never touched, you don’t even see them anymore. Hair brittle like ice shards and skin like marble, she said once.

But she left. Thank Jesus.

I hate the way you walk in like it’s a catwalk, swing your hips, lick your lips, pose baby, pose.

Confetti falling on your parade, the smile spread in your mind. You wave slowly, it’s the coronation of the century.

Hospital beds and broken headboards. Is this all we’ve come to now?

Hands run down skin, gracing over me.

Hello.

Miss me?

Always.

Ha!

My head’s full of spiderwebs, little bits of bone and teeth and hair and wire. Wrapped in ribbon and held with pipes, gushing blood and ink. TV screens as eyes, static in my ears. My spine is a string.

You come on like an Antichrist, the world is going to bow down to you now, isn’t it? You know it, you love it.

You’re the screamer, they say. You opened your mouth wide and filled the world like lily white bursting into a funeral black death hole. An abyss lost inside the sounds you forced out.

I can remember it now.

Lost in the streetlight amber glow, lost in lust like it stained our skin and our souls. Everything was you. Every picture, every smile, every thought.

Every heartbeat.

The drummer boy keeps up his pace – boom, boom, boom, boom. Stop now and it all falls apart, sugar.

‘And the collision of your kiss made it so hard’ – I know the words by now.

Words to music, more than mere lyrics. You meant it so much more.

And I loved you for it.

The kiss, sharp and metallic, was all I yearned for. Your taste on my bed sheets. Your stains on my chin.

Again, you smile like you don’t mean it, it’s a joke, let’s all laugh at the punch line because we know it’s coming.

Don’t rush me, I’m coming to the end.

I’m dying, loving you because you didn’t take it beyond our punch line. You had your fun, your joke, your memory and now it’s gone with me.

So pale, a slip of moonlight trapped in human form, green exploding from your eyes – straight at me. Blowing a hole in the back of my head.

You ruined my hair.

It didn’t mean anything to you – bit of fun.

I don’t feel worried any more. I don’t have to suffer the heartache because my heart’s gone. It’s under your pillow.

Staining it like your cum stained mine.

I wish I could touch you again but I can’t now.

You can’t touch a picture, an idol, a rockstar.

Can’t see into the dark anymore. Can’t lie in the bunk you filled with your scent. Your sweat on my hips, your saliva on my chest.

Voice like a bullet. You screamed for me, screamed and moaned and groaned and I made you mine again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

You couldn’t sit anymore, could you?

Hands like a cemetery – you always end up in the same place. You tease.

Don’t lie this time - you can’t form the words to tell me you’re sorry.

I found the most beautiful thing.

The most beautiful thing.

Six foot long, two foot wide, six foot down.

Now I can lie in darkness, blood red sky and white lilies in my hands – not the red of your lips, the white of your seed. I’m alone now. Forever like a ghost.

You haven’t stained these sheets.

Satin. Nice.

It’s so quiet, so still.

I hope you cried like you deserved it. You never had it so good.

Don’t smile again yet, you whore, keep it for the camera.

Gather with the rest and loosened your tie again, blackened your eyes and touch the arms for comfort.

And we all wanna party when the funeral ends.

 


End file.
